The Funniest Coronavirus Jokes Ever
Humor usually helps to get through tough times. We hope that our collection of coronavirus jokes will help you to get through tough times.
I tried to make a coronavirus joke a while back
Nobody laughed at first, but eventually everyone got it.
I told a joke about Coronavirus and nobody laughed
Except that Chinese kid in the back. He got it.
This time next year you guys will be laughing about all the Coronavirus fears of today...
Not every one of you, of course.
Coronavirus has been copying the Black Death
Coronavirus cases in North Korea update:
3:15pm So the hockey season got cancelled in Canada because of the coronavirus
6:30pm Canada is now testing the vaccine for coronavirus
xi jinping has coronavirus
He is now called winnie the flu
Don’t worry, the coronavirus won’t last long.
Because it’s made in China.
Three days ago, in the midst of the coronavirus pandemic, Donald Trump was visited by the ghost of George Washington.
"George," Trump asked, "how can I fix this? How do I make America great again?"
"Never tell a lie."
"I don't lie. Go away."
Two days ago, he was visited by the ghost of Thomas Jefferson.
"Hey, Tom, how do I fix this? How can I make America great again?"
"Listen to the people."
"I know what I'm doing. I listen to the best people. The best ones."
Last night, while down at Mar-a-Lago, he was visited by the ghost of Abraham Lincoln.
"Hey, Abe, how do I fix this? How can I make America great again?"
"Go see a play."
Chuck Norris caught the coronavirus
but later decided to let it go.
Corona Beer sales falter amid Corona virus crisis
Guess their viral marketing strategy failed.
I hope the Coronavirus issue gets resolved before tick season
Or else we'll have Corona with Lyme
Corona virus is just like pasta
The Chinese invented it but the Italians will spread it all over the world.
Coronavirus update: Everyone at John Lennon airport has been quarantined.
Imagine all the people
When do the coronavirus symptoms start to kick in?
Right off the bat
This Corona virus is a blessing
My wife doesn't want to travel anywhere.
She no longer buys anything online, since everything comes from China.
she doesn't go to the mall to avoid the crowds.
she spends all of her time in a mask with her mouth closed.
Best thing that has ever happened in my life.
Eminem is the first celebrity to be diagnosed with the corona virus
In a statement he said his palms were sweaty knees weak arms were heavy and presented to the emergency room the vomit on his sweater already .Later tests conclude it was in fact moms spaghetti
I have always suspected that people are selfish and during disasters will only look after number 1...
...but the Corona virus is proving they are more concerned with number 2's.
With Corona Virus spreading, I never thought our deaths will also be..
“Made in China”
Taco Bell forced to shut down temporarily...
Due to the Corona virus the shortage of toilet paper has made this step a necessity.
Coronavirus arrives in the USA.
Mexico: So, about that wall......
What's the difference between butter and the corona virus?
Corona actually spreads
Look, if we're gonna get full-on racist about where the corona virus came from
we might as well call it the Kung Flu.
You can't be too careful with this corona virus...
I just called my mother in-law not to come over for Christmas.
What's the difference between Coronavirus and my dad?
Coronavirus only takes five days to appear.
Corona virus is kinda like my jokes
Funny at first but people are starting to get concerned now
Whats the difference between the coronavirus and 737MAX?
The coronavirus is airborne.
Why did the Coronavirus cross the road?
Cuz it likes to walk old people to the other side.
Why are coronavirus patients bad at basketball?
They always travel
As the world is encouraged to practise good hygiene in response to the Corona virus...
...the government gives a poignant demonstration by washing their hands of any responsibility.
If Coronavirus can't take you out....
This Coronavirus fear is getting out of hand...
I accidentally sneezed on my monitor, and my antivirus software started running.
Why is Coronavirus all one word?
Because they didn’t want to spread it.
My friend went to the doctors worrying that he had caught the Coronavirus from his complete collection of Matt Groening animation figures.
Luckily his diagnosis was negative, despite having all the Simpsons.
The world health organization declared that dogs cannot contract the Corona virus.
All dogs held in quarantine have been released. So to clarify.... WHO let the dogs out.
I like my women how I like my Coronavirus
19 and easy to spread
What does the coronavirus and fight club have in common?
In China, the first rule is not to talk about it
I asked my Russian friend today, if he is afraid of the corona virus.
He said "no! I have the antidote!" I said, really? What is it? He said "its vodka!" I didn't believe and said, vodka kills the virus? He said "no, but it kills the fear!"
After a Coronavirus vaccine is developed
anti-vax people would need to make a very interesting choice
Everyone is worried about the Coronavirus but not me. I'm safe.
The coronavirus is passed through human contact.
If you think that Corona beer causes Coronavirus then...
You probably think that the leader of the World Health Organization is Dr Who.
Wondering how anti-vaxxers feel about a coronavirus vaccine...
...I bet they're dying for it.
It’s a shame coronavirus affects the infirm and elderly most
If it affected idiocy instead there’d be a lot more toilet paper available
A foreign reporter asked a Beijing citizen for his opinion on the government's handling of the Corona virus
"I can't say"
What idiot called it "The Corona Virus"
When they missed a oppertunity to call it "The Kung Flu"
A man with dwarfism walks into the hospital...
There’s a guy with dwarfism that showed up in A&E the other night in a foul mood, he was embarrassed because everyone kept looking at him so the nurses put him in a room alone.
He was assessed and it turns out he has bipolar disorder, so the nurses gave him some drugs to mellow him out.
Unfortunately while he was in the hospital he caught the dreaded corona virus, and last night slipped into a coma, becoming the first midget in the UK to fall victim to the disease.
So he started Bashful, saw the Doc, got Grumpy, then Happy. The drugs made him Dopey and then he got Sneezy and went to Sleepy.
I think Coronavirus is a millennial..
.. Because everyone's OK except the boomers.
Did you hear about the terrorist who strapped bombs loaded with Coronavirus to his chest?
He blew up and went viral.
Jokes about the coronavirus are everywhere right now
Looks like it’s gone viral
If you don't understand a coronavirus joke, be patient.
Eventually you'll get it.
I'm quite worried about the corona virus...
It's got potential tequila lot of people.
An coronavirus walks into a bar.
The Bartender says, "We don't serve infectious diseases here"
The virus replies, "Well, you’re not a very good host.’”
Corona virus is much like pasta
Invented by the Chinese.
Spread by the Italians.
What movie perfectly describes the corona virus?
No country for old men
I think that China is lying about how many people died from corona virus
They always show the same person when there's new cases
What do they call the Coronavirus in China?
The One Grandparent Policy
The timing of the Corona Virus is perfect for St.Patrick’s Day
Because the cases keep Dublin.
A jew is in the hospital with Coronavirus
Moishe was put into a hospital with a confirmed case of Coronavirus, and so, is obviously quarantined.
The doctor came in and Moishe asked “Doctor, what can I be treated with?”
“Well,” said the doctor, “from today, you’ll be on a strict Matzah diet.”
“Yeah. Matzah for breakfast, matzah for lunch and matzah for dinner.”
“And that’s gonna help, doctor?”
The doctor considered him for a moment and said “Help? It might, or it might not. But its the only food that fits under the door.”
I had an issue at the toilet due to the Corona Virus..
I had run out of toilet paper so I had to use socks..
dumb name for a hamster anyways.
A church decides that god will protect them from the Corona Virus
As a result, **they all agree that they should not wear masks**, because they trust god so much. Weeks later, they all are infected and die from the virus.
They go to heaven and ask god, **"why didn't you protect us?"**
God responded **"that's what the masks were for you dumbasses"**
With all this Corona virus going around, I'm really worried about Kevin Bacon.
He's always at most 6 degrees away from someone.
Redditors with the coronavirus be like
Edit: Thanks for the cold kind stranger!
You know this Coronavirus thing is bad
When Snow White is down to 6 dwarves. I just heard sneezy is now in quarantine
So people have been in a fuss over the Corona virus recently...
Why can’t we just call it alcoholism? Political correctness has gone too far, I tell you.
The corona virus won’t last long
Because it’s made in China
Donald Trump has a virulent strain of Corona Virus
What do Muslims do during the coronavirus outbreak ?
They stay in Quran-tine
With Coronavirus and our impending doom
I guess no one really had 2020 vision after all
It is easy to joke about the Coronavirus
Everyone gets it
So there's only one state with no confirmed coronavirus infections, do you know which one it is?
The state of denial
I can assure you that the Coronavirus fiasco won’t last for much longer
After all, it’s made in China
Coronavirus can be transmitted sexually,
so yes. You’ll be fine
What does the coronavirus do to jump to cows?
I think I may have caught the Coronavirus
I had about ten last night and now I keep throwing up
My Mexican father was ranting today that because our city has banned gatherings of more than 100 people due to the Coronavirus
We have to take two cars to go out to dinner as a family.
Coronavirus originated in Wuhan.
Did you hear about the serious cough originating in Wu Ping?
China just released the name of the first man with Corona Virus
Dark humor is like the coronavirus
Some people get it.
Have you heard about the possible outbreak of the Coronavirus in the Amish community?
It was a false alarm, No fever, but people did get a little hoarse and buggy.
Starbucks® has announced that they are now adding a surcharge to any customer displaying Coronavirus symptoms.
Relax. It's just a "Cough Fee."
The Corona virus meets the Ebola virus. They start dating. One thing leads to another and the Corona virus bangs the Ebola virus.
Nine months later the Corolla virus is born.
Just think, a year from now we will all be laughing about the Corona virus.
Some of us anyway.
Why is the US so afraid of the Corona Virus?
They can’t afford to get sick
Did you know that people are starting to relapse and get Coronavirus a second time?
They’re calling it “dos sickies”
Edit: try saying it out loud
It's not Coronavirus anymore...
It's now Boomer Remover
Chuck Norris has tested positive for Coronavirus
After months of excruciating pain the virus died.
I don’t think coronavirus will last long...
It was made in China
The Coronavirus won’t last very long.
It was made in China.
Here in WA state we had our first official Corona virus death near Seattle. Our grocery stores are practically empty from widespread panic. I really don't understand.
It's not going to last. It's made in China.
A guy is in a doctors office.
His doctor is there with him.
"I have two pieces of bad news," the doctor says.
"What are they?"
"Well, the first piece of news is that you have the corona virus."
"What's the 2nd piece of news?" he asks.
"Well, the 2nd piece of bad news is that you have Alzheimer's."
The man laughs and says, "Well, at least I don't have the corona virus."
At least anti-vaxxer parents won't have to worry about the coronavirus
Their kids already died from preventable diseases years ago.
How did the Corona Virus travel across world?
PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT
**I've worked out this Corona Virus!!!**
**IT'S BEEN CREATED BY WOMEN!!!**
***Think about it.....***
01, No Sports.
02, All Pubs to shut.
03, 14 Days Quarantine *(so you can finally get those odd jobs done)*
04, Symptoms of Corona are flu like ...... THEY KNOW THAT'S OUR KRYPTONITE!
05, They've name it after a beer!
What's the difference between the coronavirus and a girl?
I for sure won't get the girl.
some people get offended by the coronavirus jokes
but, i don’t worry...they’ll all get it soon.
What's the difference between a 737-Max and the Corona Virus?
What's the difference between a 737-Max and the Corona Virus?
The Corona Virus is air born!
Don't worry guys, the coronavirus won't last long
It's made in China
Im Sick and Tired of talking about the corona virus
I just want to stay positive
Trump was taking a walk through the Rose Garden...
The Secret Service man behind him noticed Trump pausing every once in a while in front of a Rose, grabbing something from the stem, and then putting his hand to his his mouth. Curious, he walked up to the President, whereupon he realized that the President was casually grabbing ants and eating them!!!
**Secret Service**: Sir? What are you doing sir? That is unsafe!
**Trump**: Stop paying attention to Fake News! I heard on Fox that the best way to prevent yourself from getting the coronavirus is to have lots and lots of anty bodies!!!
Scientists: The coronavirus has reverse DNA.
You know who didn’t die from the corona virus?
Why is the coronavirus causing everyone to bulk buy toilet rolls?
Because whenever someone sneezes, 10 people start shitting themselves
I was diagnosed with the corona virus at a brothel and the whole place was immediately quarantined.
Jeez, now I'll be stuck here for two weeks.
Girl, are you the Wuhan Corona Virus?
Because you’re taking my breath away
I hate coronavirus jokes
They are spreading like a disease
Yesterday a casket at a funeral home magically came to life, and immediately got sick
It watched the news and became convinced it had contracted the coronavirus from it's intended inhabitant, a Chinese woman from Wuhan who had died of the disease.
The casket went to the emergency room at the nearest hospital. After overcoming her initial shock at diagnosing a casket, the ER doctor ran a blood test and determined the casket definitely did not have the coronavirus.
"But I feel like I'm dying doctor, and I only just came to life. If it isn't the coronavirus what is it?" worriedly asked the casket.
"I'm not sure," answered the doctor, "we'll have to run some more tests."
"But my fever, the pain in my lungs...what could it be? Doctor if you had to give me your best diagnosis right now without the tests, what do you think could be causing these terrible respiratory symptoms?"
The doctor thought for a moment then answered, "SARS cough I guess."
I was gonna make a joke about coronavirus
But you probably wont get it.
The Coronavirus has shut down theater
Due to social distancing, the Shakespearean Theater Company had to cancel all of their live shows. Before self-quarantining, they decided to do one last performance of Romeo and Juliet and livestream their production over the internet. In order to reach a wide audience, they advertised there show on dozens of subreddits.
Before the show, they had the costumes, props, and theater disinfected to protect the health of the actors. However, the sanitizing process left the stage dangerously slippery.
Because of the shortage of household supplies, the maintenance team had no paper towels to wipe away the disinfectant, and they almost had to cancel the show. Luckily a stagehand had an idea. He found an old dictionary in the props closet, ripped out its pages, and laid them all down individually to cover the entire stage. This gave the actors just enough traction to safely perform.
The play was steamed tó over 50,000 viewers and went off without a hitch, The next day the producer tracked the stage hand.
"I owe you a debt l of gratitude! Your idea saved the day! I've been reading reviews online and everybody is raving about how much they enjoyed the show!"
The stagehand nodded confidently and said, "I'm not surprised. Redditors love a good play on words."
Why did Coronavirus force Microsoft to close their stores?
Research suggests it can live for three days on surfaces.
Due to the corona virus...
The 5 second rule has now been reduced to the 3 second rule.
Why does the Sun have sunspots?
Because it caught a Corona virus.
How does an Introverted hypochondriac feel during the Corona virus outbreak?
The Coronavirus is deadliest for the elderly.
Might as while go out and get it now, while you're still young.
So the James Bond release has been suspended due to Corona virus
Apparently there is time to die
if bats could talk what would they say about the corona virus?
Now you know how it feels to have your world turned upside down!
I just ordered the N95 mask from Amazon to protect myself from coronavirus
It arrived. It is made in China.
Half of Italy is complaining about the coronavirus and the other half is laughing not taking it seriously
All they do is cheese and wine
Coronavirus Pandemic, day 16
If anyone is still out there, I’m alive but struggling. Food is running low. Down to only 459 days worth. My hands are super sanitized and my butt is super clean. Down to 1599 rounds of ammo (dropped 1 round down the heat vent while doing daily inventory). Power still on, but for how long? Missing human interaction but I have my dogs.. for now.. (I'm soaking their food in BBQ sauce in an attempt to marinate them from the inside in case I have to eat them) . I fear dark days ahead. News is all bad. Neighbors have attempted to leap from windows to their death, (or near death... most have single story homes so they are badly bruised). Blew through most Netflix series so may have to rewatch some again..Basic Survival is a definite challenge. I vow to persevere to the end, I am a survivor! Please, if there is life out there, communicate with me to help preserve my sanity....
Everyone is freaking out about Tom Hanks having the Corona virus.
I'm just happy that we finally know what Jenny had.
A friend told me that they read an article from a major health organization that Coronavirus is going to be worse than earlier reported.
“WHO said that?”
The most unexpected effect of Corona Virus is it changes the taste of the food you eat
Nothing is wrong with your taste buds, all kitchen staff have started washing their hands!
My friend never understood the coronavirus
But now he got it.
I hope the coronavirus is a girl.
Then I won't get it.
We should have known that the coronavirus was more severe sooner.
There were red flags everywhere.
North Korea Coronavirus Live Updates:
8:15 - 1
8:20 - 0
9:30 - 1
9:40 - 0
11:30 - 1
11:45 - 0
CORONA VIRUS WARNING!!!!
I don't want to alarm anyone but the coronavirus will soon spread in an irreversible way.
The first means of contamination are bank notes, don't touch them. Wear gloves and place all notes in a snap lock bag. Leave them in your letterbox and message me your address.
Tomorrow morning I'll come by for collection and take them immediately for destruction.
Im providing this service for free and for the good of our community!
If this is a repost I’m sorry
Abbot and Costello meet the Corona Virus
The World Health Organization says Corona is officially a pandemic.
Who says that?
Who said it's a pandemic?
That's right! They also said don't touch anyone.
I'm asking, WHO said don't touch anyone?
Absolutely. And they're not the only ones!
Right. The newly-formed 'World Health Action Taskforce' said the same thing!
I just wanna know; what did who say?!
No WHAT and WHO both said--
\*Costello drops dead of Corona virus\*
Woke up with sweats afraid I'd contracted the corona virus...
Changed into jeans and was all good.
What do you get when you mix Corona virus with Lyme desease?
A viral joke
Toilet Paper and Water
CDC: Just be cautious the Coronavirus isn’t serious in the United States
People: Let’s go to Costco and buy 40 cases of water and all the toilet paper so we don’t get the coronavirus
I know why the Coronavirus will not become a serious threat and will be contained and cured
anything "Made in China" never works properly
Why did the basketball player with corona virus got kicked from the team?
Because he started to travel too much.
Every kid has done this at least once in their life
Billy: Mommy I don't feel good,I think I have measles, a fever, and the corona virus!
Mom: Oh honey-
Billy: Mom I think I am even going blind in my right eye! I have a headache, chicken pox to!
Mom: Ok should I-
Billy: Mom, I think I can't go to school today
Mom: It's a Saturday
Billy: Oh, never mind I'm fine
I hear the guy who invented hand sanitiser is doing well thanks to the coronavirus
I bet he's rubbing his hands together at the thought
Coronavirus is driving us mad!
We have become crazy.
I went to the bathroom at a restaurant. I washed my hands, opened the door with my elbow, I raised the toilet seat with my foot, I switched on the water faucet with a tissue then opened the bathroom door to leave with my elbow and when i returned to my table I realized.... I forgot to pull up my pants!!!
Don't worry about about Coronavirus in the US?
It has a tariff on it.
ALERT‼️‼️‼️ The corona virus can be spread through money.
If you have any money at home, put on some gloves, put all the money in a plastic bag and put it outside the front door tonight.
I'm collecting all the plastic bags tonight for safety. Think of your health.
Coronavirus came from Wuhan but it isn't the only disease to come from China
There's also the Wu Ping cough.
How can we fight the corona virus?
Because of the Corona virus: North Korean citizens
aren't allowed to leave the country, for the time being.
I'm just a man with Corona Virus looking for a girl to complete me
Hopefully she has "Lyme Disease"
I’d be ok with getting coronavirus
I’ve always wanted to travel the world
You make me feel like I have something special inside me!
What's the best thing about COVID-19?
All these novel coronavirus jokes
My jokes are like the Novel coronavirus
You might not get them right away, but they will hit you later.
I spilled a beer on my laptop and now it won't work
Must be the Corona Virus
Do you wanna hear a Corona virus joke?
Nevermind, you'll probably spread it around.
Who declared the coronavirus outbreak a global pandemic?
I told my wife that I got the Coronavirus from a woman at work. She was really concerned.
Until I told her that I was mistaken, the woman gave me syphilis. Her concern boiled away.
It is fitting that Coronavirus started in communist China
because everyone is going to get it.